


Just Give Me Your Hand And Hold On

by V_eliza



Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Buddie First Kiss Week 2020, Explosion, Feels, Fire, Firehouse 118 Family (9-1-1), First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hurt, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Injured Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Prompt Fic, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Sad with a Happy Ending, Worried Firefam, no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_eliza/pseuds/V_eliza
Summary: Buddie First Kiss Week Day Six: Because they think they’re going to dieThe heat was rapidly rising. He couldn’t focus anymore. For the first time in his life, he truly gave up. He dropped back down onto his back, not even flinching at the cracked glass scratching his skin. There was no way he was getting out of this. In that moment, he chose to remember the good things, to not focus on his inevitable death.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768915
Comments: 11
Kudos: 341





	Just Give Me Your Hand And Hold On

Evan Buckley had faced death more times than any person should in their lifetime. You’d think that after being in so many life or death situations he would be able to sense when things were about to go wrong. Unfortunately, he wasn’t lucky enough to develop that sixth sense. Instead he’d go out into the world, blindly hoping today wasn’t the day he’d have to fight death once again. Given his line of work, danger was something he was well accustomed to but that didn’t make the prospect of losing his life any easier. People think that being a firefighter means you’ve accepted the possibility of dying young, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His job, this life he’d made for himself, was about making sure no one else would die before their time, before they’d truly lived.

Weirdly enough, three of his near-death experiences didn’t occur while he was on shift and that created a strange feeling of safety for him when he did go into work. Despite the life threatening situations they’d run into, he felt safer in a burning building than during a day out with his family. The 118 didn’t really understand why Buck had changed so drastically in recent months. Who he was at the station was the same old Buckaroo they all loved, but the moment the uniform came off and he walked beyond the firehouse he changed into someone new. This Buck was more cautious, quiet and lacking in confidence. They’d tried to figure out why, get him to open up to them, but nothing seemed to work. He became more of a recluse, distancing himself from them much like he had after losing Red. To say they were worried was an understatement. Buck thought he was doing the right thing. He was a disaster magnet when he wasn’t working, so maybe the best way to keep everyone safe was to stay away from them. He wasn’t a superstitious person, but some higher power clearly had it out for him, and he wasn’t going to risk his family getting hurt in the crossfire.

There were times when he thought that he was overreacting, that perhaps his anxiety was getting the best of him. Today was one of those days. Normally, on this particular day of the week, Evan would be at work, sat around the table enjoying whatever meal Bobby had cooked up, probably laughing at something dumb Chimney did or said. However, he’d agreed to switch days with a guy from the other shift, who wanted to be able to attend his daughter’s graduation. His team were working without him and that just made him feel more alone. Maddie had suggested they meet up for coffee that morning, she too had been growing increasingly worried about her brother’s mental health, but he quickly shot that idea down. He made up a lame excuse about wanting to sleep in and running some errands, but the truth was he couldn’t let her be around someone as clearly unlucky as him. The worst part was that life was about to prove him right.

Even his apartment wasn't safe anymore. All he wanted was a nice cup of coffee to start off his morning but that wasn't going to happen. Having recently purchased a new coffee machine, Evan had decided to test out some different, rather strong smelling, new flavours. The sweet aroma his brewing coffee was emitting covered up the toxic stench of gas filling his apartment building. One minute he’s waiting for his drink to cool down and the next a painfully hot blast knocked him off his feet.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was fire. For a split second he thought he was at work, that he had all his life saving equipment with him, that he was safe. But then reality hit him like a truck. He was alone, injured and surrounded by uncontrollable flames. Struggling gravely, Evan rolled onto his knees, swaying as he moved off of the shattered glass covering his floor. He couldn’t really tell where in his apartment he was right now. The smoke was too thick, and he couldn’t think clearly. The last thing he remembered was making coffee, so he must be in the kitchen. He frantically waved his arms around searching for a surface he could grab on to, but he couldn’t find one. He groaned in despair, cringing as he heard the screams echoing from all around the building. His job was to save people, and right now he couldn’t even save himself.

The heat was rapidly rising. He couldn’t focus anymore. For the first time in his life, he truly gave up. He dropped back down onto his back, not even flinching at the cracked glass scratching his skin. There was no way he was getting out of this. In that moment, he chose to remember the good things, to not focus on his inevitable death. He thought about Maddie. She was going to be an incredible mother, seeing the light in her eyes when she told him of her pregnancy was beyond heart-warming. His big sister was finally happy, she was building the family she had always deserved. Chimney took good care of her, treated her right. He and Howard Han may not have always got along, bickering and teasing one another like siblings, but he respected that man more than he cared to admit. His future niece or nephew will be so lucky to have Chim as their father. Evan knew well what a bad father was, and Chimney was as far from it as you could get. The Buckley’s were terribly useless parents, the worst part though was that Buck hadn’t realised just how bad they were until he met Bobby and Athena. They were the parents he’d always wished for. They took care of him even when he didn’t deserve it, loved him when others couldn’t and supported him through his worst moments. The one thing he hoped was that losing another son wouldn’t break Bobby. Seeing his captain so happy with Athena and his step-kids was an amazing thing to witness. No one had earned happiness and stability the way Bobby had. Despite all his trauma and his struggles, Captain Nash never stopped fighting for others. He was the person Buck always prayed he would become. Even in the beginning, when their relationship was slightly rocky, he respected the hell out of that man. If it hadn’t been for Hen and Athena, Bobby never would’ve given him a second chance, and he couldn’t be more grateful that he got that. Henrietta Wilson had saved his ass when he probably didn’t deserve it. She gave him a chance to prove himself to everyone (himself included). After Maddie left with Doug, Evan found himself longing for the sisterly affection she once gave him and when he met Hen, the hole in his heart that Maddie left shrunk slightly. 

There was still room in his heart though, until the Diaz's came into his life. He never expected growing so close to the man he first deemed a threat. Not only was Eddie his best friend, he was also the only person Evan had truly ever loved. Yes, he'd had feelings for Abby and Ali, but never quite to the intensity of the way he felt about Edmundo Diaz. Of course life would take away his chance to tell the man how he felt. 

Out of nowhere, he was interrupted from his reflecting by the sound of banging on doors.

KNOCK

KNOCK

“LAFD CALL OUT”

Suddenly his front door was kicked in, flying off its hinges. _No, please not the 118_ , Buck thought to himself. He didn’t want them to have to watch him die.

“BUCK CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

“BUCK CALL OUT!”

“WHERE ARE YOU, BUCK?”

Multiple voices yelled over the roaring flames, desperately searching for him. He didn’t have the strength in him to scream back.

It was bobby who found him first, almost tripping over the nearly unconscious body on the floor. “BUCK! Oh my god! HE’S OVER HERE! Chim get his legs, Diaz clear a path, Wilson go outside and get the ambo ready. LET’S GO!” Without waiting for Buck to react, they lifted him up, carrying out of the burning building. They expertly avoided the falling ceilings and sparking wires as they made their way to the outside world.

Buck didn’t realise he was no longer in the building until he was loaded into the back of the waiting ambulance. Hen was in the front seat with Bobby, driving faster than she ever had, with Athena in her police car escorting them to the hospital. Meanwhile Chimney and Eddie were in the back with Evan doing everything they could to keep him stable. Buck himself, despite being very disorientated, knew that things weren’t looking good for him. Even with medical care, he wasn't going to make it. He sure as hell wasn’t going to die without doing the one thing he’d always wanted to do. With all the strength he could conjure, Evan grasped at Eddies shirt, signalling him to move closer. Eventually the two were close enough for their lips to touch. It was soft and slow and way to short. The second Evan pulled away, his eyes closed, and his lungs stopped breathing. The last things he heard were sirens and distant yelling.

“No… No NO NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! WAKE UP, PLEASE EVAN WAKE UP!”

It took four days for Evan Buckley to open his eyes again. For the 118 and their families those four days had been some of the longest they’d ever experience. There wasn’t a single second that Buck was alone, they were set on making sure that someone would be there when he woke up. The chances of him waking up alone were incredibly slim even without everyone taking shifts with him. Eddie hadn’t left Buck’s side since the moment the doctors allowed visitors into the sterile room. His hands were gently clasped around Evan’s and they rarely moved from that position. No one had been able to convince the former soldier to move, even the mention of Christopher couldn’t encourage him to leave. The man he loved was lying in a hospital bed, close to death, of course he wasn't going anywhere.

Those strong hands were the first thing Buck noticed. The older firefighter was slouched in an uncomfortable chair, his head resting on the hospital bed, visibly exhausted. Evan didn’t want to wake him, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Eddie hadn’t been home in a while. Instead of alerting anyone that he was now conscious, he chose to watch the love of his life sleep peacefully. He remembered the kiss vividly. He didn’t remember the pain he was in, the fear he had felt or the heat of the flames. The 118, his family, has rescued him, kept him alive when he thought all hope was lost. That kiss, the only memory he needed of that day, signified the beginning of the rest of his life.


End file.
